Monday, March 21, 2011

Things I Learned from Star Wars

I have liked Star Wars since 1999 when I was 10 years old. I'm almost 22 now. And as corny as it sounds I've learned a lot of things from it and I thought I'd compile a list. Lists are fun and easy to blog about. Plus, with all the other Star Wars fans I've met and become friends with over the years I'm sure there are quite a few of these they'd agree with me on.

  1. While it may seem like a good idea to save the life of the idiot who can't get out of the way of an oncoming bus, sometimes it's best to let the idiot get squashed. Episode I would have been much different if Qui-Gon had simply let Jar Jar get run over by the AAT. Consider it cleaning out the gene pool, if you will.
  2. It's ok to stretch the truth until it breaks because, hey, the Jedi do it! After all, truth from "a certain point of view" is still the truth. Kinda. Or it is just a fancy way of making themselves feel better about being a bunch of lying, telekinetic, baby-snatching peacekeepers.
  3. "Try not, do or do not." This one's pretty self explanatory but also true. Another way to think about it is "if at first you don't succeed..." I think a lot of Yoda's point is that as long as you keep pushing yourself then eventually you'll reach your goal but if you stop then you'll never get that X-wing out of the swamp. And then you're really screwed unless he takes pity on you and pulls it out of the muck himself.
  4. If you suddenly find out you're going to have twins rather than the single child you were expecting, and your husband suddenly dumps you because he thinks you're trying to have him killed there's only one thing to do: give up hope and let yourself die. I mean, who wants to be stuck raising TWO snot nosed kids when you were only expecting one? Especially if that loser of a husband of yours is ditching you to rule the galaxy with some old dude. Besides, there's probably someone out there who wants to raise your kids. Even if it means dooming one of them to living in a desert. But it won't matter at that point, you'll be dead.
  5. Fathers can be real jerks, but if you can find it within yourself it's worth it to forgive them. Sure he might have been an accomplice in destroying a planet and he might try to lop off a few of yours limbs but eventually for your own well being it's best to suck it up and try to bring him back to the light. He'll probably die during this process anyway, saving you from those awkward Father's Day present searches.
  6. Love is bad. Love makes you turn to the Dark Side. If it wasn't for love then Alderaan wouldn't be the latest asteroid belt in the galaxy. Don't fall in love, don't get secretly married and you'll save thousands of lives.
  7. Droids can be life-savers but they're also dangerous and can get you killed. I know about this one first hand. My Droid has kept me from getting lost many times with its GPS but that same GPS has also taken me through the ghetto-est neighborhoods ever, the kind where I've been sure I'd be shot before I reached my destination. It's a sneaky thing, right up there with a Hal 9000 computer. I find it's always best to be nice to Droids. Treat them well and they will be sure to give you the correct hyperspace coordinates and keep you from dropping into the nearest supernova or intentionally dropping your elevator down an elevator shaft.
  8. If you're about to be pulled over by the cops/the Empire, it's a bad idea to run, even if your ship is a blockade runner. They'll only shut down your main reactor and you'll be destroyed for sure.
  9. When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not. So get over yourself and forget the cosmetic surgery. You'll just end up looking more of a puppet than Yoda himself.
  10. Actions have huge consequences. Qui-Gon should have thought about that before rescuing a little innocent looking slave boy. And little Anakin should have thought about letting his hormones do all his thinking for him. See above mentioned #6. Make good choices, kids.
And that's about it for my Star Wars life lessons. Sure it may be a little silly, but I promise there's some good life lessons in there. 


  1. I do love Star Wars also and what's weird is that I'm a girl. Well, no one said you can't watch star wars if you are not a boy. Glad you got lessons from this while I get nothing but satisfaction from my craving. I'm quite old now still I'm not letting go with my hubby. I can afford to forget my Plastic Surgeon Los Angeles appointment but not this.

  2. I don't even know what to do with this comment; is this legit or an ad? Whatever. I'm a girl too and Star Wars is awesome. Lessons can be learned from anywhere if you're willing to look, the ones from Star Wars just happen to make me laugh. Maybe I'll do lessons learned from Firefly, or Stargate: Atlantis at some other point in time. Hope you continue to enjoy Star Wars!