I got sent this in an email and I thought it was funny. I didn't write and don't know who did, but it's an amusing list of things that are OBVIOUSLY (not) true because they happen all the time in movies! Can anyone else think of others that didn't get put on the list? If so, leave them in the comments!
1. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings -
especially if any of their family or friends has died in
a strange boating accident.
2. If being chased through town, you can usually take
cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade at any time
of the year.
3. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in
a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait
patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in
a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick
of French bread.
5. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there
is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
6. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst
7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect
hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you
in there and you can travel to any other part of the
building without difficulty.
8. All single women have a cat.
9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German
officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language.
A German accent will do.
10. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak
English to each other.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for
their family every morning, even though the husband and
children never have time to eat them.
12. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his
13. During all police investigations, it will be necessary
to visit a strip club at least once.
14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been
suspended from duty.
15. It is always possible to park directly outside the
building you are visiting.
16. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
17. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will
coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the
power and phone lines in the vicinity.
18. If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to
find him. Just relax and run a bath.
19. Police departments give their officers personality
tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a
partner who is their total opposite.